Advice for newly published writers

Monday, July 30, 2012

(And oldly published writers, and yet-to-be published writers, too - basically whoever is willing to take advice from an eighteen-year-old)
  1. Do not read your reviews, good or bad. Remember: reviews are for potential readers, not for you, the author. Leave the review reading up to your editor or publicist or grandparents or whoever. Your work should already have been ripped apart by about ten different people prior to publication, and reviews will not tell you anything you do not already know. You cannot convince people who hate your work to love it, and you will never be able to get quite enough praise from those good reviews. Don't go down that path! That path leads to no good things! (I say absolutely do not read your reviews because I know you will read a few anyway. They are very easy to look up and very difficult to resist.)
  2. Forget about rubbish like 'personal brand'.  I know everyone says things like 'your book is not the product you are selling, you are the product' but really, if you think too much about yourself as a packaged, constructed thing, then you will go mad. Just be generally nice and supportive of other people, and don't badmouth anyone, and don't write a blog full of swear words if you write for children. It's pretty straightforward. People who are just trying to sell themselves are not people you will read the blog of or converse with at a party (sometimes people who are just trying to sell their book/themselves will corner you at a party, and you just have to subtly shuffle away, saying 'of course! we'll catch up for lunch!').
  3. Do not pay any attention whatsoever to awards and short-lists. You will likely only be continually disappointed. You write the best book you can, you send it out into the world, beyond that point it is out of your control. People will tell you if you get nominated or long-listed. Don't fixate on these things, because missing out ultimately does not matter all that much.
  4. Just keep moving forward. Continue writing! Never stop! When you get distracted by bad reviews or not being long-listed or not selling well enough, you are probably not being very productive. If the selling and promoting parts of writing are what you enjoy most, get a job in marketing! If the writing is the most important, then that is what you should be doing. It is too easy to get caught up in promoting the book/yourself and not actually produce new material.
  5. Get used to self-doubt and always yearning. I don't think there is a point at which a writer suddenly feels like a real writer, and the self-doubt disappears and one stops yearning for more success/more money/another book deal/an award. I think it's easy as an unpublished writer to assume the recognition of publication will change everything, and it's still easy as a newly published writer to assume a bit more success will instil self-confidence in you. I think these negative emotions associated with being a creative person (I don't know whether  people in more practical professions experience self-doubt, we shall have to ask them) are very useful to writing. Deal with the fact that you may never see a day when writing becomes easy, or you like your own work, or you feel you are a 'real writer', and keep producing new material despite it.
  6. Stop comparing. Right now. Right this very second. Support other writers. You are really not their direct opponent. All you can do is produce your own best work. Someone else getting a six-figure deal has nothing to do with you. Someone you know winning an award or getting on a best-seller list does not make you any less of a writer. Be happy for other writers' success. But don't focus constantly on these markers of success. There is value in writing, even if you don't make a fortune out of it. You are not less-than any other writer. Your writing is unique and deserves to be read just as much as anyone else's.

Things I am always trying to put in novels which never really fit

Saturday, July 28, 2012

  1. Urban legends. Like that one about the woman who lost her pinky finger in the mad sales at a shopping centre, picked it up off the floor, and finished her Christmas shopping before going to the hospital to have it reattached. I don't think this has actually ever happened, but I have been told it by a few people who swore that their cousin/best friend/aunt swore it was true. I am always trying to include stupid (and often made up) anecdotes in stories where they don't fit. Also I love this story: it's hilarious, and even though I am fairly sure it didn't happen, I can imagine that it might.
  2. A girl called Wolf. Between writing Girl Saves Boy and my bank robbery book (which is being published next year), I wrote this really wacky, really terrible murder mystery novel called Signs & Wonders (I still like that title. I can't remember where I stole it from). The central character was sarcastic and obnoxious and her name was Wolf. But the book was terrible! And I still liked the name! So in another novel I started but never finished, she was the freckled, mysterious (how's that combination?) object of another protagonist's affection. But that name didn't really fit with her and there wasn't enough of a story to sustain that novel to novel-length, and so I gave the name Wolf to the twin of a narrator of another story I never finished. I think I need to give up on the name.
  3. Girls with male names generally. I have trouble with gender-appropriate names. This is often because the genders of my characters change a lot.
  4. Single narrators. Everything that I write that's vaguely successful (by which I mean everyone who reads it doesn't hate it) has multiple narrators. I have started many, many novels with just the one narrator, and finished a couple of them, but they are always terrible. I do not know why.
  5. Non-linear timelines. I always want to go all Pulp Fiction/Memento and write a book out of order, which is thrilling and fast-paced and great. Sometimes I try and include time travel as well, just to get really tricky. It never works out. Everything written out of order ends up back in order when I'm editing, because really, it's just confusing.
  6. Sarcastic, cigarette-smoking grandmas. Geraldine in Girl Saves Boy is sarcastic and cigarette-smoking, but she is not a grandma. My grandmother is certainly not sarcastic and cigarette-smoking. I don't think I would write that sort of character quite as much if she were.
  7. Twins. I have a lot of failed novels about twins.

Advice for travellers

Friday, July 27, 2012

Lately I have been doing a bit of travelling. I have been on about six planes in the last fortnight, visiting Sydney and Mackay and Cairns, and speaking in schools. And I hung out in Brisbane for a bit, but that's pretty close to home. I have also been on my own, which is a new thing - previously I got to take my mum along to all of my writerly events. Now I am a grown-up, I get to fly solo. For being such an anti-social person, you'd think I'd enjoy this more. But no! I like travelling with other people. When I'm on my own, I forget to bring important things! Like decent shoes. And also I just want to nap all the time. I need someone else to make me go out and see the sights! Now I am a Seasoned Professional (not really), here is some quite useless advice for you, should you find yourself being a brave lone traveller:

  1. Pack a decent pair of walking shoes, always. I never do. I am a fool.
  2. Pack a year's supply of band-aids, always. You will need band-aids, I guarantee it. Probably because you forgot to pack the walking shoes.
  3. Pack something good to read, always, lest you end up stuck choosing between the Bible (as placed by the Gideons) or the phone book for your evening reading. I tend to pick the Bible. Review forthcoming! But not really. (Spoiler! Jesus dies. But it's okay. He comes back.)
  4. Do not have Up & Go for all of your meals. The goodness of two Weet Bix and milk in a carton cannot sustain human life forever (or can it? Not a challenge). But, if you must, chocolate is the best flavour. I bought a pack of banana Up & Go last trip away, feeling nostalgic about banana-flavoured Big M milk, and it does not measure up.
  5. Do not sit in the full sun in the park on the Esplanade in Cairns all afternoon. It does not matter that it is winter. It's Cairns. You will get sunburnt. You will be pink-faced and red-shouldered when you are talking to a few dozen school kids the next day.
  6. Do not trust public transport to get you to the airport on time. Especially not the public transport in South-East Queensland.
  7. Pack a cardigan. Just do it. I don't even care if you don't wear cardigans. Start now! Cardigans are a most versatile and necessary garment.
  8. I am always reading advice for people travelling on their own, and there is stuff like 'walk purposefully, even if you are just being an aimless tourist'. I walk with purpose and it just makes people ask me for directions. I get asked for directions a lot (I guess I look approachable), but I am bad with directions at home, let alone in another state. So, walk with purpose? I think? I am bad at advice.
  9. Never buy anything in those little 'last minute' shops at the airport. They are ridiculously overpriced. Better yet, shout "This is daylight robbery!" while inspecting the price sticker on a bottle of water.
  10. Try to avoid sleepwalking off the balcony of your hotel room. Or just get a room on the ground floor. (Maybe you don't sleepwalk and don't have to worry about these things. I do worry! I worry a lot!)

7 Things I never want to read in blurbs for YA novels ever again

Monday, July 23, 2012

  1. "Brooding." I don't particularly want brooding characters, either. You know what brooding people are like in real life? Incredibly annoying. When I read the back cover of a book and it promises a character that is dark and/or brooding and/or tortured, I feel I can safely assume that it is a book that will be filled with same characters as every other YA novel currently on the market, and I don't want to read it. Seriously. Brooding = irritating.
  2. "Heartwarming." Look, book, you are not going to tell me how to feel. If I read that you are heartwarming, I decide then and there that my heart will not be warmed! I want to know what a book is about when I read the blurb. It's the same with films. If it claims to be a feel-good hit, I will expect it to be such, and then if it isn't, I'm disappointed. Just tell me what the book is about. Do not tell me how it will make me feel. I'll read it and find out for myself, if the plot sounds decent. Also, 'heartwarming' is pretty much code for 'incredibly gross and overemotional and sappy' and that is pretty much code for 'Steph will not like it'.
  3. Too many rhetorical questions. Just, don't. Like 'Is it too late? Will the two very attractive main characters get together before the book runs out of pages? Who is this guy with the eyes that change colour in different lights?' Do you want me to sarcastically answer everything? Because I will. 
  4. "When she least expects it." It's always love, I've noticed, that shows up when she least expects it. Or where she didn't expect to find it. Occasionally it's friendship. In my life, I would prefer 'money always comes to her when she least expects it' or 'success' or 'immense power'. 'When she least expects it' irrationally irritates me. So much so I'm using alliteration. It's overused, that's all.
  5. "[Protagonist's] life is perfect." as the opening line. And then Bad Stuff happens. This line makes me think of that part at the beginning of all horror movies (and revenge movies, too), where everyone loves each other so much and they're all playing in the park with the kids and eating pancakes and being joyful and life is simple and then bam! zombies or bam! Russian terrorists. And this doesn't work for me because it is terribly unrealistic. No one's life is perfect, nor do they think their life is perfect, even in fiction. It just seems terribly weak to me.
  6. Anything about the love interest's smile or eyes. Seriously, enough with the 'crooked' smile, enough with the 'knee-weakening' smile, enough with the 'dark eyes' and the 'bottomless eyes' and the eyes that change in different lights. It is not necessarily bad, but it is ridiculously overdone, and tells me very little about the book or that character.
  7. "Unforgettable." If I had a dollar for every novel I have forgotten that claimed to be unforgettable in the blurb, well, I don't know how much I'd have. A lot? The trouble with the editor choosing to put 'This book is unforgettable' on the back cover is that I won't believe it. Because of course you'll say that! You stand to make money if I buy this thing! You want to sell lots of books! Why not lie and say it's unforgettable? I will believe this claim slightly more if it's an author I like who's blurbed the book. But only slightly.

Losing It by Julia Lawrinson

Friday, July 20, 2012

Books with suggestive titles/covers make me feel awkward when purchasing them or taking them out at the library. How on earth people buy or borrow those romance books with half-naked people on the cover is entirely beyond me. Every time I see someone with a Kindle the only logical conclusion is that they are reading a book too embarrassing to reveal the cover to anyone else. Fortunately they have self-serve check-outs at the library near where I live now. I love self-serve check-outs. Every time I go to the supermarket, I feel like I'm living in the future. It's sensational. I think I may have entirely missed the point of this post?

Oh, yes. Losing It by Julia Lawrinson. This is the blurb: To avoid Losing It in the bushes with some random guy in a heavy-metal T-shirt after too many tequila shots, four best friends make a bet: to lose it before schoolies week – and preferably in a romantic, sober way that they won't regret. What follows is a sometimes funny, sometimes awkward, but always compelling comedy of errors as Abby, Mala, Bree and Zoe each try to find their Mr Right . . . or at least get laid. A hilarious and thought-provoking novel by the award-winning author of Bye, Beautiful and The Push.

Here is an extract, from the beginning of the book. After having read the extract, I wasn't particularly interested in reading it, to be entirely honest with you. But still! I picked it up! That first part is probably my least favourite of the whole book. Third-person scenes book-end the novel, with four separate sections filling the space between - a short story from each of the main characters, at various points through the year. And I very much love multiple narrators, and I think this method of story-telling worked very well. Each of the four friends were unique and endearing and imperfect, and pretty stupid at various points, and I think the realism of each of them and their voices was what kept some out-there ridiculous plot twists from turning the book unbelievable. The first story, Zoe's, was undoubtedly the funniest, and I loved that the most academically smart of the girls was also the most obnoxious.

I did read this immediately after I read The Reluctant Hallelujah, however, and I have established weirdness in books is almost always a good thing to me. So maybe it will too much weird for you? You won't find out till you read it, though, because I would ruin it if I told you! It is pretty hilarious, and I would hate to spoil it.

Shortly after reading Losing It, I was doing my usual 'wasting time on the internet, shouldn't I be writing or doing something important with my life?' thing, when I read this quite wonderful post by another author, Foz Meadows, entitled 'Why YA sex scenes matter.' And this is definitely something I want to write more on*, later, but I thought I'd touch on this now, since it is super relevant to this book. But this is a big thing that I loved about Losing It, despite the fact that it was at times uncomfortably weird, was that it represented four very different experiences of teenage sexuality, realistically and non-judgementally. The novel was not a vehicle for the author to express her views - it was entertaining and involving and well-written - but it still depicted everything in a positive but not saccharine manner. So that makes me happy. Not all sex scenes in YA novels should be wedding-night-with-a-vampire, guys.

So age recommendation - girls, fourteen and over? It's a novel about a virginity pact. I think we've gathered eleven-year-olds won't really like it. And the girls do a bit of drinking of alcoholic beverages in the first and final scenes. I plan on writing about this, as well - what is appropriate in YA and what isn't. I plan on writing about everything. While the sex in this book is older teenage subject matter, it's all dealt with in a very tactful manner and there aren't any damaging sort of values going on. I wouldn't be concerned about younger teenagers reading it, really. I get more worried about violence in books, that freaks me out. This novel is lovely and honest and hilarious and leans towards the ridiculous at times, but it's got a big heart. So there.

*Who knows when I'll write a proper post about this? I am very hesitant about expressing definite views on things, because I am so wary of offending people now and aware that my own views are bound to change. I had a lot more confidence to just say 'I believe this! I know everything!' when I was slightly younger. Maybe this is what growing up does to you? You have to endlessly think about things? You are never quite sure? Gosh, adulthood is terrible.

Links you may like:
On the publisher's website
On Goodreads
The author's blog

How To Be Great At Everything, or just make people think you are

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Whenever I leave the Writing Cave of Doom* and venture out into wider society, people who are older than me say things like 'I hate to think what I was doing at eighteen, you really have your act together!' People think I'm successful for my age! That's great.

So I have been thinking about what success means. I think success means being happy, and contributing positively to society, and having financial security. And writers are notoriously miserable, and I think they contribute to society but probably not in an easy to recognise way like, say, a doctor does, and financial security is not really something you associate with being an artist**. But some people obviously think being a writer is a good thing!

So mostly people who find out what I'm up to treat me as if I am doing quite well at life, and as if I can teach them how to fix the wayward youths. Which is nice! I like that. Unfortunately I seem to exist in a different reality to about 90% of people my age, and am not rebellious, and really I am not that concerned about wayward youths (every generation has been terrified of wayward youths, guys! Am I the only person who's noticed that teenagers have always seemed badly behaved to adults?).

Here is the thing: I actually don't have my act together. I don't know what I'm doing this year, or next year. I don't even understand how I've managed to achieve what I have already. I constantly panic that I have already peaked, or that I am not actually even remotely a smart person***. I was just as uncertain as every other kid finishing high school as to what I wanted to do with my life (I still am).

But it's pretty easy to fool people into thinking you are really great at everything. Or at least, that you know what you're doing. And if you can fool other people, you have already half-fooled yourself! Or something? I'm not qualified, I can't tell you percentages.

So! If you are a teenager or an older person who is still vaguely panicked about life, this post is for you. 

A brief, dot-point guide to giving the illusion that you are really brilliant at life and have an excellent five-year plan which you are currently implementing: 
  • When you are young, people are constantly telling you that this part of your life is the most important! You will only be young once! Etc, etc! People put a lot of pressure on you to be having the best time ever and also accomplishing amazing things and also managing to fit in basic stuff like brushing your teeth twice daily. It's a lot to balance. I haven't been a middle-aged or elderly person yet, so I can't tell you whether this is the most awesome part of life, but it would be kind of depressing to admit it is, wouldn't it? Next time someone says to you "Ah, those beautiful halcyon days of my youth! You better be carpe diem-ing the hell out of life right now!", tell them that they should be treating every day of their middle-aged/elderly lives with the same value. And then wink. Because really, aren't you going to be having an awesome time your whole life? You're great at life! Of course you will!
  • Realise that hardly anyone has any idea what they are doing with their life, especially when they are seventeen. Unless you are in a YA novel, in which case you are probably saving the world or marrying a vampire, either or. Good on you! Keep it up! Anyone who asks a seventeen-year-old what their five-year-plan is (except your parents/grandparents. They can ask a maximum of three times) is a mean person. When someone does ask you what your five-year plan is, it hardly matters what you say. Just say it with a lot of certainty and conviction. If you tell someone you're going to be a writer and they immediately tell you that you won't make a decent living, just start aggressively quoting Oscar Wilde at them. Shout "Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative!" There are lots of Oscar Wilde quotes that will work.
  • Remind yourself, whenever you get uncertain about what you're doing or other people tell you you're not doing the right thing by choosing a certain degree or a certain job, that you're in charge of your own life. This is a lot of pressure, I know! But in the instance that you only get one go at life, wouldn't you much rather pursue your dreams than do what people tell you is a 'safe' choice? I'm not encouraging poor decision-making here, rather that you should absolutely go for whatever crazy, out-there, impossible-to-realise dream you have, sooner rather than later. Have you not seen enough motivational speeches in American movies? Come on now. You tell people that you are going to become a rockstar with enough conviction, they'll believe you. Even if you're terrified. Steph Bowe has faith in you! You don't really want the faith of someone who refers to herself in third person, but you're getting it anyway.
  • Whenever you look at other people and think, "hey, they are doing so well!" realise a big part of that is probably a public face they put on. You can only really see the interior of your own life properly. If you do worry a lot that you don't know where you're going or what you're doing, but everyone else seems to have their life in order, realise there are lots of people who can relate to you. And lots of people who you can talk to about it. I think it gets easier as you get older (well I certainly hope it does!) to convince yourself that you are doing well and making good decisions, but reassurance can be useful! (People probably see you and your crazy-great Face of Confidence and think you never doubted yourself once in your life!) Pretend you know what you're doing, and everyone will pretty much be fooled.
*Writing Cave of Doom doesn't actually exist anymore, since I live in a sunny state now and my room has enormous windows. It's the most awful thing. How is one supposed to write emo stories in such cheerful weather?
**I don't actually refer to myself as an artist. I hardly even refer to myself as a writer. I say, "I've got a book out." Because I am super cool.
***Normal people want to be attractive or fit. I am insanely jealous of smart people. It's terrible!


Advice for carpe diem-ing, five year-plans or pretending to know how to live life, always appreciated!

Upcoming appearances! In Brisbane and Mackay!

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Here are a few events I will be speaking at very shortly! Come see me and say hi!

7th of July
This Saturday I'll be in Brisvegas! At the Children's and Young Adult Writers And Illustrators Conference. It's on at the Southbank Institute of Technology from 8AM to 5PM. There are lots of really great and intelligent writer types (just have a look at the website) speaking to other writer types about writing and associated topics! This is the program. I'm doing a workshop about secondary characters, and I have never done that before. I promise to be brilliant, and if I'm not, everyone will be compensated with fairy bread. Only not really. I believe they're still taking bookings!

8th of July
The Australian Society of Authors is having an 'E-Exchange' forum at the Queensland Writers' Centre at the State Library of Queensland, from 10.45AM until 5PM. I'm talking about blogging! Here's the program. Other smart people are talking about things like digital publishing and working across platforms and POD and ebook stuff! The future is great. You can book here, if that sounds like your sort of thing.

11th to 14th of July
I'm at the Whitsunday Voices Youth Literature Festival, for which I am very excited. Because, hello, Whitsundays. Also festivals are great. According to the website... Held in Mackay, Queensland, Whitsunday Voices is the largest youth literature festival in North Queensland. Boasting an impressive line up of Australia's favourite authors, Whitsunday Voices Youth Literature Festival is attended by over 5000 students every year. You can download the program from their website.

--

I have other events coming up, which I will be sure to tell you all about closer to the fact. And feel free to email me and pester to me to visit your town/school! Any excuse to have a holiday!
Proudly designed by Mlekoshi playground