1. The guy who played Angel in Buffy, and who plays Booth in Bones now. Because everyone knows that’s who Stephenie Meyer based Edward on. Sexy, troubled vampire? Hello. It’s like a bad fan fiction. (Never mind his age. They made Brad Pitt look like a teenager in Benjamin Button.*)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1sO3Mnms6aWTzjJ_906NS_bw8Pslws4BwUJDxS4yKUCYExgqEa0UXSs-iSBcwpvkf74gBdgbkf7yx7OxlBAOEnXp4asYfJ9BkFG9JI5Kx0RrY4reQTGghrTeNzV5P6nrD1SblpHxFVXY/s400/04_Angel.jpg)
2. Mos Def.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsCnK8A1s0WnU4dWbpTVHDe5WJRmLWTeVjlB91paey7QzF5q6h77GkaUwdWDNTEQg6YWtTb43HPIOFKQPXjjkSJWDe-4OhReEDPYZ1yxLUpz5Y6B-2BbZuzygbnh0fGnZ63x5N2n7rV8s/s400/MosDef.jpg)
3. A cardboard cut-out of Dracula. It would have had more personality too. They just carry it around and have someone stand behind it and speak. Maybe Angus Sampson could be the voice?
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOhf8TaZ2p73_dorptH4Vzb9aoCdNhvpPN0UWazqAI3T-1udwIy-nQ4uC-ceXt3m1f31xgFk2hK4OBPFKSgWhBbLGiNk5bfnbMP_B05pm84rFS4rXUIU38nVM8ofGndq3sXe0rlIvmF8M/s400/untitled.bmp)
4. Elijah Wood. Who cares that he’s almost thirty and very short? Frodo is awesome. Go The Hobbit!
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQOMx6DYtPyI1wKoWVMhCJStxlmQ4k4d2aqtGCk3AoRDfUdgHVuUWKjMMnLFuR_hfwGusjBK5-TxUslM9LDO26et9b5WG9kJpC4t8a8ipzovhnEpS7akMT-1Q489Cm3WNaSv3lQpZdlTs/s400/elijah_wood_97.jpg)
5. My primary school P.E. teacher. He was on his P plates, and almost ran a kid over at school once. Everyone knew he was a vampire. Not a sparkly or melty kind though, because we did a lot of volleyball on the basketball court and he neither sparkled or melted. I think he had really high SPF sunscreen or something.
6. I, Steph Bowe. No one would have noticed I was a girl if I had Edward Cullen’s name attached to me. Naturally, the kissing scene would have been awkward.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHGYRpjADPEkjUe7i5k-13q-VrJiX-d6U-eKmgAFREgNwxbgc1N7tukk1JaNMWvZ7BPdxRC-NCk_RjtwCyk4kB5FlzRxtYQiUQneK6EjaAvx3AzEKK8rr020exOzZalOS3_QrEI6G6jF8/s400/3581569318_f8bd148cf2.jpg)
7. Your mum
*I’m not entirely sure who ‘they’ are.