Ramona was a waitress

Friday, August 28, 2009

I’ve started a new novel.

I think the last one’s done. I think if I edit it again I’ll suffer a brain aneurysm. I’m waiting on the opinions of a couple more smart people before I seriously send it out into the world (and if you like books and stuff and want to read a bit, email me).

This new novel is temporarily wonderful and sparkling. It’s about an idealistic dead boy and the repercussions of his death upon his family and friends. It sounds like The Lovely Bones, but it’s less sentimental and doesn’t have any of that rubbish about true love* and also this boy isn’t annoying like Susie Salmon.**

I haven’t figured it out yet, not entirely, but there are a few things I think may happen:
- his step-brother and sort-of girlfriend*** steal his ashes. This is for some profound reason that is a bit too difficult to explain at this point, but will clear up later.
- his step-brother becomes involved in some kind of relationship with a waitress named Cilla. Her name is Cilla and she has red hair and she is quite beautiful and has very thin lips and I know all of this because I had a dream with her in it, and also in that dream I kept coughing up whole pears. It was so strange.
- there is a scene in a Laundromat. I’m not clear on what occurs, but it’s in a Laundromat.
- I will need to take photos of all things around the town where I live because I know where certain scenes will occur. Like in the Laundromat. I quite like the Laundromat.

It’s so very difficult to explain. I’m going to write a blurb, and who knows, I might post it on this very blog. Would you like to read the blurb? And an excerpt, maybe? Just a paragraph or so, because I occasionally write a couple of sentences of genius and I can make you think I’m quite a good writer when I’m not.

You can listen to Ramona Was A Waitress (blog post title is after the song) and watch the video here. I much prefer it without video because the video is scary, but it's a good song, so just close your eyes. That's what I usually do. It's by Paul Dempsey, and it's from his album Everything Is True.

It is so very late.

* & obviously it’s nowhere near as good as The Lovely Bones but that doesn’t even need to be said.
** & really? Susie Salmon? What the heck.
*** If you are going out with someone and then they die what do you become? I mean, a married person becomes a widow, but what about people who aren’t married? What do they call these people?****
****And also, she’s his sort-of girlfriend mainly because I had originally imagined he was gay. And he’s still gay in my head though there’s no reason for it in the story, it’s just that all the gay people I know are pretty awesome.*****
*****And straight people are awesome too, so don’t go thinking I’m discriminating against anybody, because I’m not.******
******Except people who love Robert Pattinson. I’m discriminating against you. I’m starting a club, and it’s called the No R.Pattz Fans club. And you’re not allowed in it.*******
*******That’s it. I wish there was a decent footnotes function in blogger.
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