I Am Not A Fangirl

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

So I saw the new Harry Potter film Friday night, and it was probably my favourite of all seven so far (not including the first, because the adorableness of the young terrific trio makes that film win overall by default). I cried, but I always cry in movies. It's a good excuse to.

Now, I'm not a fangirl (not a fanboy either, for that matter). I read up to halfway through book four when I was about ten. I'm not sure whether or not I saw the sixth film (I should just borrow it, I know). I kind of semi dressed up for the film (I wore a Rita Skeeter-esque jacket and skirt, but couldn't get any rectangular glasses), because I felt like it. But the Harry Potter series didn't define my childhood. I like the movies, and I can't remember the books very well, but the final movie coming out next year is not going to mark the end of an era for me. It's just going to be a movie coming out.

I'm not a fangirl for anything. I like lots of books and I like lots of authors, but I'm nobody's number one fan. I doubt I'm even in the top ten for anyone. I like lots of music and lots of bands, but I don't pay much attention to when albums come out or when they visit Australia and I don't dream of meeting them (my favourite band is probably the Killers, and I only found out Brandon Flowers had an album out a couple of weeks ago in Kmart. I still haven't got around to buying it). I like plenty of movies and actors. The closest I ever came to being a fangirl was liking Ricky Martin when I was seven, and quite liking Frodo in Lord of the Rings when I was twelve (hobbits = total babes). But neither lasted especially long, and neither really said much about me as a person (except that I liked the song Livin La Vida Loca when I was seven and Elijah Wood when I was twelve).

I'm never going to be part of a screaming horde. I don't want to line up for hours to have a poster signed by some pop star. Seeing Harry Potter doesn't fill me with a sense of nostalgia. I don't regard any celebrity as especially fantastic or God-like. I'm not really invested in anyone's life that isn't my own or those close to me.

I'm not sure whether this is a character flaw or not. I am passionate about some things - reading and writing in general, my love for my family, being a good person and impacting positively on the world. But I feel distanced from other people's reality. I feel like a bit of a fraud in a sea of people who are extraordinarily interested in a specific series or actor or band. Yeah, sure, I like that. But I don't write fan fiction about it. I don't really want to see them live. I don't care if people dislike the books. The idea of never meeting Justin Bieber is actually a pleasant one for me.

Is this a lack of commitment on my part? Is being a fangirl an important part of the teenage/human being experience that I am missing out on? Is this connected to my dislike of groups and the associated mentality?

If you are a fangirl/boy/person, I'd love to hear what you're a big fan of. Or what you thought of Harry Potter!
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