- Why is my syntax so bad?
- Why did I decide to become a writer?
- I don't understand what this symbol means.
- I don't understand how to use semi-colons, but I'm going to use them anyway! Damn you, correct grammar!
- I really don't like these characters. They have so many feelings.
- Why did I decide to write this book?
- Everyone who says I'm a good writer is lying to me, I just know it.
- There are too many exclamation marks.
- Why did I think that was funny?
- I'm just confused now.
- Imagine how terrible the reviews will be.
- What is this book even about?
- I really do not like these characters.
- I should just kill them all off in the end!
- I already did that. No one liked that draft.
- Why are there so many pages?
- How do people who write decent-length books manage to edit them?
- Is it possible for overthinking to overwhelm my brain and make it shut down?
- Who invented the em-dash? I don't like them.
- How do other people manage to write actual good books?
- There must be a secret.
- I bet J.K. Rowling made a deal with the devil.
- Can I make a deal with the devil? I promise to give up the internet in exchange for becoming a literary genius.
- Didn't work.
- I've heard the words 'show don't tell' so many times now they've lost all meaning.
- Will this process never end?
- There's only like three hundred things left to change. I can do it!
- I should just take up accountancy.
- Books are totally overrated anyway.
- This is probably a coma dream anyway.
- People are dying of starvation right now and I'm worried about not being a good writer. Shame on me.
- Once this is finished, I will never even think about this book again.
- (Apart from when I have to convince people to read it.)
- (And apart from the next round of editing.)
- (Okay, I will have to think about this book again. But it will be painful for me.)
- This is all Gutenberg's fault. Thanks a lot, Johannes.
(Editing makes me lose all rational thought, clearly.)