- What if I'm an alien replica and the original human Steph Bowe is in an underground facility far away being experimented upon by evil forces?
- What if I am actually not a decent writer at all, and all of my success so far is an elaborate hoax being coordinated by my family, who are secretly evil/alien replicas?
- What if, while I sleep, I have an evil alternate personality who wakes up and wreaks havoc?
- What if every dream I have is actually occurring in an alternate reality?
- What if my dreams are actually occurring to people in this reality?
- What if I'm already dead and this is just purgatory?
- What if there is no such thing as death and it's all just an elaborate hoax created by the elderly because they're sick of us and want to move to a distant island and drink all the time?
- What if this entire world is something I have constructed in my mind, and I'm in a coma in another reality?
- What if this entire reality is someone else's dream and I've been sucked into it?
- What if this entire reality is someone else's dream and I'm just a figment of their imagination?
- What if I am a very authentic, advanced, fleshy robot, and at some point something will be activated in my robot-brain to make me assassinate someone?
- What if television is actually aliens controlling our minds?
- What if all the trillions of bacteria living in my body are tiny aliens, gathering information about the human body and sending messages home?
- What if aliens are cataloguing us via Facebook and waiting descend and cull everyone who writes inane blog posts?
- What if we've all steadily been replaced by alien replicas, and now there are no humans left but we don't even know it?
- What if, every time I write a story, those people actually come into existence in another reality? Oh my god, all the poor people I've killed to give other characters depth!
- What if our entire world is the creation of a really terrible writer? Whose world, in turn, is the creation of an even worse writer? What if there are just endless loops of people living in worlds writing stories about people living in other worlds and so on?
- What if nothing magical or extra-terrestrial exists and everything is real and God and the afterlife are not and this is it?
- What if I really am entitled to the millions of dollars Nigerian bankers offer me via email daily?
- Do I watch too much television?
Things to worry about
Saturday, September 8, 2012