Awkward conversations with writers

Monday, July 29, 2013

1.
Another author: "So I read your book."
Me: "You did?"
Another author: "Yeah."
*silence*
*silence for three minutes*
Me: "So... are you working on something new?"

2.
Me: "I... write books. For teenagers."
Hairdresser: "Is the money good?"
Me: "It varies."
Hairdresser: "And who does your website design?"
Me: "I do."
Hairdresser: "See, there's this guy who just does Facebook pages. He just runs Facebook pages for people. That's where it's at. That's where people get all their business from. Not their websites. Facebook. Fifty dollars a week, he charges."
Me: "Right."
Hairdresser: "Do you think they're going to start charging people to use Facebook? Because I saw that they were going to do that."
Me: "It's a con. They won't."
Hairdresser: "You know, you really have to get to the teenagers early on. I read a really good book recently about how women and men can't relate to each other."
Me: "...Right."
Hairdresser: "You know it's like we just can't get through to our sons? See, women talk. Women just talk a lot. Whereas men, they can just look. And boys get the message. The woman in the book, see, was at a restaurant, and she saw this man with his sons, and usually the mother would be like, yelling "Come over here" but the father just gave them a look, and they knew their boundaries."

3.
Me: "That's my new book."
Man: "How many copies have you sold?"
Me: "Less than Twilight."

4.
Kid: "What famous authors do you know?"
Me: "Well, I've met Morris Gleitzman."
Kid: *blank*
Me: "And Melina Marchetta, and John Marsden."
Kid: "Have you met... Stephenie Meyer?"
Me: "No."
Kid: "J.K. Rowling?"
Me: "No."
Kid: "What about... what about..."
Me: "I've met Andy Griffiths."
Kid: "WOW. What other famous authors do you know?"
Me: "...that's about it."
Kid: "Oh."

5.
(prior to my new novel being published as All This Could End, the working title was This All Could End. Big difference, clearly.)
Lady: "What's it called?"
Me: "This All Could End."
Lady: "This Awkward End? That's... interesting."
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