I'm not sure what prompted me to write this post. It's just something I thought I'd talk about. Anyway, I know the subject matter is a bit dark for a book blog, but it is an issue that's pertinent to teenagers and is featured often in novels, so I think it's an important thing to think about and talk about. If you're not comfortable don't read; if you're really uncomfortable, email me and let me know.
Recently, four students from a Geelong school killed themselves. Not together, and they weren't kids who were all friends. In four separate instances, four kids committed suicide.
I was researching this (because I research a lot. I like to know things) and I found this startling fact: Suicide now accounts for one in seven deaths among males
aged 15 to 19 years. (This is in Australia.) There are a lot more very scary figures in this article, if you want to read it (it's just numbers and what influences these, but it's still scary.)
Australia's 60 Minutes did a segment on the deaths of the students in Geelong. It was never broadcast, because Jeff Kennett (former Vic Premier and BeyondBlue chairman) blocked it in court. I can understand why the families of the deceased students would be upset if the segment was shown, but the reasoning behind the segment being blocked was that it would encourage more teenagers to commit suicide.
I believe this is ridiculous.
Now here's the thing: there's something wrong with you if you think teenagers being informed about suicide will result in them knocking themselves. In fact, I believe that teenagers being informed about suicide won't even cause a suicidal teenager to be pushed over the edge. I think a segment on 60 Minutes about teen suicide might even start conversations betweeen kids and their parents. It would be an opening for discussion, a chance to talk about it without trying to find the right moment.
Here's what I think: It sucks to be a teenager. People treat you like crap, you're often angry for no reason, you get sad and you can't ever remember a time when things seemed brighter (this isn't everyone, naturally, I'm just saying this is how it is for a lot of people). You can't see anything in the future except never doing well enough at school, or being tormented by your peers (because everyone is bullied on some level), or something else that seems insurmountable.
Largely, this is normal. A lot of kids will at some point be depressed. They need to be able to talk to their parents, and look for ways to feel better about themselves. They need people who are willing to talk to them and to help them.
But instead, it seems as if adults would rather keep the whole thing shut lest some kid see on 60 Minutes that some students have killed themselves and go, Hey! I could do that too!
Information about suicide, advice about how to kill yourself is readily available on the internet. We shouldn't shut up about the issue and think it'll go away, nor should we blame the internet or bullies or binge-drinking -- I think communication between teachers and students and parents and children and family and friends is the important thing. Listening to people when they need you to listen; reassuring them it does get better when they need to be reassured.
Anyway, this is a good article; have a look at the rest of the Reach Out website too.
So tell me, what do you think? Have you read any books lately that feature teen suicide? (Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher is an excellent book that immediately springs to mind.)
20 notes passed:
Hey Steph, great post! Thanks for bringing it up. I totally agree with you on the positives of conversation-starting etc. Oh, what a dark, bleak thing it can be to be a teenager, especially when you feel you're all alone in your head. One of the best books I read as a teen, which helped me feel a little 'understood' was Susanna Kaysen's 'Girl Interrupted'. The movie is quite good too, but the book is wonderful - really raw. I don't think texts that deal with suicide encourage it at all, in fact, they're comforting for people who think they're going through it all alone. Looking forward to reading others' suggestions.
Clever. :)
I think that the suicide thing should be broadcast because teenagers will see that a) they aren't the only ones depressed, b) some advice on teenage life and c) a chance to chat about it with their parents.
The teenagers who DO commit suicide, mainly commit suicide because they haven't had an open discussion, they are depressed about something and don't know if anyone else is depressed so they don't know where to ask for advice and they don't know what to do so they just suicide.
It sucks to be a teenager. People treat you like crap, you're often angry for no reason, you get sad and you can't ever remember a time when things seemed brighter.
Well, Steph, you summed me up PERFECTLY. Well done.
To add on to that: "Year 12 makes teenagers depressed because if they don't get a high enough result, they'll end up on the streets in a cardboard box like a hobo."
THE END.
Whoa, this is weird, I was just writing a blog post about the 'suicide narrative' and kinda put it on the back burner coz i thought it might be too heavy. i'll have to whip it out tomorrow then!
(and that sounded unintentionally, hilariously, but inappropriately sexual)
Laura: you would be the most epically awesome hobo ever. Just so you know.
Hey Steph, when I was writing Breathe, this was exactly the issue I was thinking about. It's never really stated that Trout is suicidal, but he's totally peering into the abyss, wondering what the meaning and value of life is, trying to deal with the idea that his existence may be arbitrary.
Writing about suicide is hard, because there IS a veil of glamour and mystery about it, and on the one hand you don't want to contribute to that glamour, and on the other hand you don't want to present it in a way that doesn't recognise its power or mystique, because then it's kind of pointless, even gratuitous.
Angela: I will definitely have to get that book. Thanks.
Great post, Steph! I agree - muzzling the issue certainly won't make it go away.
Two books mentioning/featuring suicide which spring to mind are Looking for Alibrandi (Melina Marchetta) and Feeling Sorry for Celia (Jaclyn Moriarty), both Australian authors. Admittedly, I only saw the movie of Alibrandi and never read the book, but Celia is still one of my fave YA novels - well worth a read!
What a great post and I agree communication is the only way to go about things. Trying to hide the problems only seem to give them room to take hold. I love your writing.
Kate x
The idea I try to get across to my teenage friends who are miserable: nothing in life is ever as bad as high school. Never again are you cloistered with so many people you have absolutely nothing in common with other than age (unless, presumably, you join the military). Never again are you made to feel so miserable by people who are "superior" to you for some unknown reason unrelated to actual skills or abilities - although being cute seems to figure in).
At my ten-year high school reunion I looked at the people who had been so popular - and realized that high school had been the pinnacle of their lives.
It was an eye-opening moment.
Teens: Imagine those tormenting you now in 10 or 20 years with thickening middles and boring lives and no one to torment. In the meantime you'll have led an exciting life, developed lots of skills, and because you know what it's like to be treated like crap you're nice to people, and have tons of friends.
And if your high school is incredibly awful and you don't think you're going to make it, check out options: other schools, home schooling, living with a relative a year or two, scholarship to a boarding school, or getting a GED. I found a program that let me skip my senior year of high school and go straight to university.
Good post, Steph.
Excellent post, Steph, you really get to the heart of the matter.
The whole problem is that people think kids are vacuums and the only things they know are what you tell them. Not informing someone about something like suicide doesn't mean that they're not going to be thinking about it if things get bad enough, and it is not going to make it go away, it's just going to make them feel more alone. Helping each other through the mine field that is adolescence should be our top priority, not trying to out do each other or put each other down.
A couple more books that deal with teen suicide (and sound really good) are Crash Into Me By Albert Borris and Hold Still by Nina Lacour.
Thanks for posting this, Steph.
I think that the logic (in regards to the TV show) is a bit sketchy. If we don't talk about suidcide hopefully no one will do it? Bull.
Often people who are so depressed to commit suidicide feel isolated (even if they aren't). They believe that they are the only ones feeling that way, and everyone is normal and happy. I think that discussing mental health, depression and suicide could help inform teens that they're not alone. That other people feel that way too. And suicide is not a way out.
This logic seems similar to the thought that if schools don't talk/teach about sex, kids won't know about it and won't do it.
Great post!
Why is it my main thought after reading your essay and the comments is, "Actually, I was suicidal in junior high, not high school."
I think people try to keep teens ignorant, which is part of the reason things like suicide happen. You can't be treated like a child and expected to act like an adult. The mixed message always screwed with my head as much or more than my hormones.
Also: "The Grieving Never Ends."
In the US at least, the families have to clean up after suicides. I think it might change people's plans if they knew someone they were close to would have to scrub away the evidence.
It is ridiculous to assume that if teens see suicide on t.v., they'll start thinking about it themselves! That's saying that teens don't have their own minds :/ Don't we live in a century where talking about these things isn't taboo anymore?
Thirteen Reasons Why immediately sprang to mind! I can't remember any other books other than that one... it's pretty powerful. :)
Steph, this is an excellent post! I'm glad you brought this up. A lot of parents don't even want to think about suicide, especially if their children are thinking it. They don't realise that talking to their children is the best way to prevent these thoughts.
When I was going to school, a teenage girl (she was actually friends with some of my friends, although I never knew her) commited suicide by overdosing. It was tragic, and we had an assembly about suicide, and it's effects on family, friends, and how to talk to your parents about it.
I've lost a lot of friends to suicide, and attempted suicides. I've gone through times when I thought just leaving it all behind was better than dealing with it, but I'm a talker, and had a talk with my sister/mother, and just talking about it with someone else really makes you realise what your thinking about...and how it's just plain silly to have thoughts like that in the first place.
Thanks for this post!
Hi Steph, there is actually much data on the role media can play in contributing to copycatting behaviour. It is not the reports, per se, but how it is reported. Recommendations in Australia exist for reporting on suicide safely. The U.S. version is at www.afsp.org/media. Suicide contagion is real, but responsible journalism can reduce the risk.
I think conversation starters are good, but I also think this is a topic that requires care and understanding.
Great thoughts. Keep it up. Hope your parents and peers know what a special person you are.
Penny
I liked this post. I really agree with you. Hiding things is not the answer.
I think being a teenager for me, was a time of powerlessness where everyone seemed to be the boss of you and you had no independence. That was the thing that got me depressed.
Oh and the thing about suicide that really gets me upset is the rate of gay and lesbian teens committing suicide because it's too hard to come out. And Jeff Kennett, because he's a Liberal and a homophobe, has refused to admit queer kids are more likely to commit suicide and has refused to fund programs for gay and lesbian kids.
ok nice theory....but i can't really understand why everyone wants to stop suicides. when someone decides to suicide it's his/her own decision to quit. And if your point is that the people connected to the person commiting suicide get hurt when someone kills himself/herself then every decision which causes the same should be stopped. in other direction the person commiting suicide is trying to solve his problem.
Knowledge is power. I think that opening discussing suicide and teaching teens the possible signs (thought patterns and behaviors) can help them to realize those unhealthy behaviors within their friends and themselves. This in turn will encourage them to seek help.
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