Things you should never say to writers, or, more specifically, to Steph Bowe

This penguin is entirely unrelated to anything in this post. But it looks bare without a photo, doesn't it? Hence the penguin. Photo by me. Imagine the penguin reading this post to you.

• "So, is the writing business rewarding, like, fiscally speaking?" Only older people really ask that. You should know better, guys. Trying to find out how much money people earn is a bit inappropriate, even if you word your question in a rather obtuse manner. Kids just ask: "Are you rich?" I have respect for that. Be blunt. The answer is: "Yes! Of course! I am going home to roll in my money right now!"
• Upon hearing the name of my book: "Oh, I haven't heard of you. What famous authors do you know?" (I am incredibly insulted when I then name drop a bunch of people and they haven't heard of them, either. Next time someone asks, I'm telling them Stephenie Meyer and J.K. Rowling and I are like the Three Musketeers of YA lit. Or, like, the girls of the Saddle Club. Or any other fictional group of three besties.)
• "Oh, that's nice that you write and books are your entire world... I don't have enough time to read." That's a terrible excuse. Especially if you then begin rambling about the most recent episodes of the seventeen hundred TV shows you watch. This is also hard for me to believe because books are necessary for my survival. If all of the books in the world were destroyed, and no one could create any more, I probably wouldn't last the year.
• Upon finding out I am a writer: "Yes, but what else do you do?" I just write, guys. Sometimes I go to schools and speak to children about writing, and they ask me what else I do as well. I sleep, you know, that's a bit of a timesuck. A third of my time and all. I do some eating and conversing with other humans on the side. I really need more hobbies/a day job.
• Upon hearing I write for teenagers: "Oh, like Twilight?" No. Nothing like Twilight. Please go away so I can pretend this conversation never happened.
• And another thing people say when they hear I write for teenagers: "Oh, this is such a corrupted generation, the youth of today. I hope you are teaching them good moral values through your books!" Am I? I don't even know. I get this a lot. If these people (usually people in their fifties and older) are to be believed, the debauchery of generations Y and Z knows no limits! I am shocked and appalled.
• "Hardly any writers make a decent living out of it!" or "The book is dying! LONG LIVE THE INTERWEBS!" I am continually amazed at people's need to remind me of everything that can (and will!) go wrong. When I talk to an accountant, I assume they know more about accounting than I do, and don't tell them very obvious things about accounting that I know. I am not sure whether most people are like this, though. A lot of non-writer people feel the need to inform me about the downfall or instability of the publishing industry. Which, thanks guys, but I've heard it before. And fearfulness doesn't generally assist anyone.
• "Can you give me a copy of your book?" Everyone asks for a free copy. Even people I have just met. I can't really give away hundreds and hundreds of copies of my own book because I am not Nicholas Sparks. I'm really sorry. I would love to give everyone, even strangers I meet, free copies, but I need to sell books in order to get book deals in future, generally speaking. If I had unlimited funds, I would give you all of the books. I would also end world hunger, cure all diseases, and save all of the animals and children and trees.

Something you should definitely always say to a writer: "Oh that is great you are a writer! I love books!" I love it when people say this. But don't lie. If you hate books, just don't say so. Gosh, why are you even reading this if you hate books? Leave now.

If you are a writer, I would really very much like to hear the things people say to you that you never want to hear again! (i.e. "Get a real job", "Internet is superior to book, FYI", etc) Or share lovely things people say to you because you are a writer. Your choice! (I am being negative, this is bad. Next post will be unbearably positive, I assure you.)

The Reluctant Hallelujah by Gabrielle Williams

I have grand plans for incredibly intellectual posts about my smart writer-person thoughts. But first! A review of a strange and hilarious novel I just read by another very great Aussie YA writer. This is the blurb:

 But there I go, getting ahead of myself. Skipping straight to the part where I was front-page news and they were calling me Dorothy, instead of starting at the beginning . . . 
When Dodie's parents go missing just as final year exams are about to start, she convinces herself they're fine. But when the least likely boy in class holds the key -- quite literally -- to the huge secret her parents have been hiding all these years, it's up to Dodie, her sister, the guy from school, and two guys she's never met before, to take on the challenge of a lifetime. So now Dodie's driving -- unlicensed -- to Sydney, and being chased by bad guys, the police, and one very handsome good guy.

 In anticipation of reading this novel, I read all of the reviews of it everywhere on the internet. (This is usually a poor decision. I wouldn't do this if I were you. Stop reading now. I'm kidding. Stay.) The reviews seem to come in two varieties: 1. "This book is brilliantly written but is way too ridiculous and absurd for me", and 2. "This book is brilliantly written and so ridiculous it's awesome." I am so definitely in the second camp. I may have mentioned that I love out-there ridiculousness in novels. The Reluctant Hallelujah has exactly that out-there ridiculousness I love, and yet reading it, it's as if everything that's happening is perfectly normal.

 There's a revelation that comes fairly early on in the novel that put some readers off entirely. I guessed what it was before I'd even started reading, and it wasn't something that offended my sensibilities. I probably would've enjoyed it more had I been surprised, while other readers will know the book isn't for them once they find out. (I'm not going to tell you what the revelation is - you can figure it out for yourself. There are a lot of hints, though.)

 I remember Gabrielle Williams spoke about this novel at the Ballarat Writers Festival last year, and mentioned her US publisher's concern over the themes - I'm not sure whether it is being published in the US, and I can understand why it wouldn't be (despite the fact that it's hilarious and brilliantly written and a great read). I would hope that the controversial aspects don't overshadow the fact that it's quite a brilliant novel. 

The character development is excellent - of almost every single character involved. Dodie and her sister were somewhat irritating (their poor decision-making is probably realistic, but still frustrating). There's still a real insight into these characters. There does need to be a fair bit of suspension of disbelief (which, once you get past that 40 page mark, everything else hardly seems unbelievable), and though it has a thriller plotline it's more of a character-driven tale. Lots of funny conversations and sweet scenes. It's a road trip novel! I love road trip novels. 

This is definitely one for the older YA crowd. It's written in a very conversational, teenager-y style (I am excellent at adjectives, as I'm sure you can tell). I think all of the geographical details (lots of which I recognised! The first part of the novel occurs in Melbourne and underneath Melbourne, creepily) lent believability, and firmly set a fairly out-of-this-world story in the real world. It's pretty splendid, less crazy-adventuring and race-against-time type stuff than I expected (it is certainly not the Da Vinci Code) but full of really genuine characters.

So you might hate it. That crazy revelation might be a little too crazy for you. But even if you don't share my love of the delightfully wacky (and it's pretty gutsy, really), it's well-written and endearing and full of realistic characters in a hilarious, unrealistic situation. It sounds weird, but somehow, it works.

Links you may like: 

The Reluctant Hallelujah on Goodreads

On the publisher's website

Preloved by Shirley Marr

I am back! With a review! Oh, the wonderful things I have in store for you, internet-people who like reading my words!

I was dreading reading Preloved. I find this happens pretty often to me. I find out an author I love has a new book coming out, and I am excited! I read the blurb and see the cover, and I am even more excited because it sounds like exactly the kind of book I would love! I get my hands on aforementioned book! And then I stop.

It's the same when books are incredibly hyped - I expect a book to be awesome, and the odds of it not measuring up are much greater than if I'd just randomly selected a title off the shelf, for which I only have average expectations. (I am very serious about this, considering it is just a novel. I think I should probably do less thinking and more reading.)

For reference, this is what Preloved is about (official-like blurb):
Amy has enough to deal with for one lifetime. A superstitious Chinese mother. A best friend whose mood changes as dramatically as her hair colour. A reputation for being strange. The last thing she needs is to be haunted by someone only she can see.

Logan is a ghost from the Eighties. He could be dangerous. He's certainly annoying.

He might also be Amy's dream boy. 

And this is what the author herself says about it: Preloved is a ghost story. It involves past lives. It's about a modern teen girl and a dead teen boy from the 80s. It's more a bad romance, less of a love story. And it's more abnormal than paranormal! Since it references the 80s, it might also have stonewash denim and a Choose Life t shirt in there somewhere too. I hope it's funny and dark and sweet in its own indie way.


To my relief, Preloved is brilliant. Funny and honest and all kinds of awesome. It felt a whole lot more like a contemporary novel than a paranormal one, filled with endearing characters and witty dialogue. I don't know how she does it, but it felt to me as if it were full of in-jokes, all of which I was in on. Amy, while she does the usual insecure YA heroine thing, is very endearing. (And I think her best friend is more of a Manic Pixie Dream Girl than a Mary Sue.)

As much as I enjoyed Fury, Marr's debut novel, Preloved is definitely my favourite of the two, for a couple of reasons. One being that while I think it's fantastic that there's lots of dark novels for teenagers to read (it's a dark time in their lives! etc, etc), my personal tastes seem to be evolving away from that (I don't know, I think my brain may have reached capacity on books read about murderous teenagers). Preloved does have its darker points and its serious subject matter (like, super-super-serious subject matter), but there are a lot more funny scenes and heaps of fabulous snappy dialogue and on the whole, it's a lighter read than Fury is. It's very well-balanced.

I did love the subtle reference to Fury at one point in the dialogue, though. I like the idea of all of an author's creations existing in the same world, like Amy might run into Eliza at any moment! Though they have very different social circles, so it's quite unlikely they'd be at the same parties. (And what even is Eliza up to, now? I think there ought to be a sequel to that book!)

Other things I loved:
I loved how meta the entire novel was. References to YA novels while inside a YA novel are hilarious.
I loved the hilarious Australian 80s slang, and all the references to 80s pop culture. (The Princess Bride is indeed the best film ever.)
I loved that it was 'more abnormal than paranormal'.
As I read it, I imagined it as an eighties teen rom-com the entire time in my head. And it was great. The novel was, too. Big-time Hollywood film producers, who I know are definitely for sure reading my blog, take note. I'm thinking about the casting at the moment.

The issues I had with Fury - mainly some clunky dialogue in the first third of the book and some plot twists that were a bit incredible - weren't issues here. I don't know whether that's the different genre or not - one tends to be more forgiving if we're involving fantasy stuff, I find. I think the dialogue works better in this novel, it's more consistent overall, and perhaps that's a result of the author having a more definite style. (Writing a second book is certainly a very different process to the first.) I think the explanation of what had happened to cause the ghost showing up was slightly lacking for me, since it was building up to that revelation for most of the book, but it worked in its own simple way. (I really do like the idea of past lives.)

Just as suitable for younger YA readers as older ones - the writing is unassuming and straightforward and nothing is particularly inappropriate, though there are some heavier themes (well, someone had to die in order to become a ghost). Very much recommended if you like paranormal novels and/or 80s nostalgia. Don't let the paranormal aspects scare you off, though - it's a very lovely ghost story.

(I also just read Love Notes from Vinegar House by Karen Tayleur - review coming shortly - also published by Black Dog Books, which is now an imprint of Walker Books, and also a ghost story. Did they do this on purpose? Is it ghost season? If it isn't, publishers should definitely have a ghost season. I would buy all the books. Even though I do that already.)


In other news, if rambling were an Olympic sport, I like to think I would at least make the finals. END REVIEW.

Links you may like:
Preloved on the publisher's website
Fury review and Shirley Marr interview
Sophomore Novel Blues guest post by Shirley Marr
Preloved on Goodreads

I'm going away!

I will be overseas and internet-less for the next fortnight, and won't be able to update the blog again till mid-June. All emails/faxes/messages in bottles/etc will be promptly responded to upon my return. Someday they will embed the internet inside our actual brains and we will all be able to psychically communicate with one another, but between now and our Matrix/Terminator mash-up future, it is nice to be able to disconnect and go on a holiday!

(I plan on doing a lot of writing. Hold me to that. Email me and ask, 'Finished the next book yet, Steph? I'm waiting.' It's even better if you actually are.)

If you are thinking: 'I would very much like to read some Steph Bowe ramblings, how will I survive without these glorious posts?' here are some older posts from the blog that I quite like that you may not have seen yet! Also you are probably not thinking that.

• 'The road to publication.'
• 'Why you should be Facebook friends with your parents.'
• 'It's super important that you know.'
• 'Being in love with a fictional character is probably not a good thing. But I'm not really in a position to judge.'
• 'Edward Cullen vs. Teenage Boys vs. Steph Bowe.'
• 'Jealousy: the singularly most useless emotion in existence.'

So long! Farewell! Auf wiedersehen! Goodbye!

P.S. Young Queensland writers, check this out. The State Library of Queensland's Young Writer's Award is open till July 13 for those lovely Queensland writers aged 18 to 25. Write a short story, for there are monies and memberships and workshops to be won!