The Most Controversial Blog Post Ever! (But not really.)

So, I've noticed this trend.

Some people seem to think I'm a fake because I always come across as being nice. Because I always seem to deliberately fence-sit. Because I always try not to offend people. My blog posts are never particularly controversial. And in this post, I'm going to try and explain why.

Beyond everything else, I want to be a kind person. I would far prefer being compassionate to being beautiful. I’d rather be kind than a genius. And I’d rather be respectful of other people than popular. I believe that I am a kind person most of the time, because I rarely feel the desire to be unkind to anyone (behind their back or through a blog or otherwise), and I believe in treating people the way you want to be treated.

Of course, though, as much as I feel otherwise, I am human. I do slip up every now and then. I’ll say something the wrong way and accidentally insult somebody. I’ll be uncomfortable in a social situation and say something unkind about somebody because I don’t know how to avoid it. I’ll feel nasty feelings towards someone who’s mean to me or someone I love.

I agonise about this stuff afterwards. I spend a lot of time worrying that I’m not a good person, or that I made somebody feel bad, or that by going against how I really feel about stuff in order to fit in, I’ve done something totally unforgiveable.

But the internet – oh, it’s all about controversy. The biggest bitches (Perez Hilton, for example) are the people who get the most hits, the ones who are the most popular. Everybody loves to see someone – especially someone who is famous, or popular, or acting high-and-mighty – ripped apart. I don’t. It’s okay that you do. I think it must be some evolutionary thing and the part that causes it is missing from my brain.

But everybody loves a fight. And when I say stuff that’s too polite, when I put my views on something across in a very tactful, respectful way, everybody thinks that I’m being a fraud. Because I must secretly be a bitch, because I’m a teenage girl. Because I’m a human being.

Really, guys, I’m not. You can accuse me of having a lot of negative traits – shy, withdrawn, afraid, awkward, boring – and I’d agree with you. But I’m not a bitch. I’m not passive aggressive, either. I’m passive-passive to the power of twelve million. When I write posts on this blog presenting my views on something, disagreeing with somebody, it’s not because I don’t like them – it’s because I have differing opinions. I want debate, I don’t want to tear anybody down. Everything I write, I try and write with tact and respect for the other person’s views. This is because that’s what I’m like in real life, too. It’s just who I am.

I don’t like fighting, I don’t like confrontation, I don’t see the need to be horrible to anyone. I like everyone I meet by default, I try and regard everyone as an individual, respect their views. I think everyone is fascinating and unique and entitled to their beliefs (unless it’s like murdering people or something).

I find that the older I get the more people try to beat the qualities I value most – kindness, compassion – out of me. People remind me that if I’m ever going to function in this world, I need to toughen up. I need to stop being so sensitive and so nice all the time. But I disagree. I have trouble with life, like everybody. But being nasty isn’t going to make it any easier. I think kindness is way too undervalued in this world. It’s okay if you’re a person who craves drama, fair enough, but I just want peace. I don’t want to be selfish or mean, I want to empathise with other people.

And I’m not saying you have to be like this too, because you don’t. Your brain is probably wired differently from mine. You’re an individual. All I’m asking is that you don’t accuse my opinion of being worth less than yours or someone else’s because I’m not controversial and I don’t offend anybody. All I’m asking is that you don’t call me a fake when all I do is be myself. (I can’t help that myself is just boring old nice.)

So, the internet is clearly not the place for me. By extension, this world is not the place for me, but I’m kind of stuck here. Life. I have difficulty with it.

(Note that I’m not directing this at anyone in particular here – the last thing I want to do is offend you. Also, I guess this might come across as passive-aggressive. Not my intention at all. I think I should probably walk around with a disclaimer tattooed to my forehead ‘I’m really just trying to be a nice person. I have no ulterior motives. I don’t mean to offend you.’ I anticipate everyone arguing with me in the comments, and saying that I’m a nutcase who will never survive in this world, so please just be tactful. That would be lovely.)

Brisbane Writers Festival!!

I'm going to be appearing at the Brisbane Writers Festival on September 2nd! (I like the word 'appearing'. I can imagine myself teleporting to Brisbane, and just magically appearing wherever the festival is being held and going ha! I have appeared! And then leaving. Of course this is not what will really happen, but it's a funny thought. Well I think it's funny.)

Anyway, if you're going to the festival and want to see me there, here are my sessions:
Hey! Teenager of the Year
Category: Children/Young Adult / Number: S44 / Grades 8-10
Steph Bowe
GoMA Cinema A
1:20pm - 2:05pm
Buy tickets
16-year-old Steph Bowe’s début novel, Girl Saves Boy, is a complex, funny and moving story about Jewel and Sacha, two teenagers who feel out-of-sync with the world. Already well-known for her blog Hey! Teenager of the Year, Steph interviews authors from around the world, and brings her pick of young adult fiction to teenage readers in a blog that’s bursting with positivity and creative expression!

In this session, Steph will give some handy hints on the writing process and getting published, proving that age is no barrier when it comes to success!

Blogging: it’s nothing personal
Category: Children/Young Adult / Number: S29 / Grades 8-10
Van Badham, Steph Bowe
9:45 AM - 10:30 AM
GoMA Cinema B
Buy tickets
Van Badham is the award-winning writer of more than 30 internationally produced plays for stage and radio. Her plays have had seasons at numerous theatres and festivals around the world including New York’s Summer Play Festival, Edinburgh Festival, and the Sydney Opera House. She also is a chronic blogger.

16-year-old Steph Bowe’s début novel, Girl Saves Boy, is a complex, funny and moving story about Jewel and Sacha, two teenagers who feel out-of-sync with the world. Between doing homework, finishing assignments and writing novels, Steph Bowe also runs a blog called Hey! Teenager of the Year.

In this session, Van and Steph team up to talk about tools of the trade, writers’ blogs and blogging addictions!

**

I also just found out that my session on Girl Saves Boy at Melbourne Writers Festival sold out, which makes me wonder, who bought all those tickets? And also freaks me out. It's scary.

Edward Cullen vs. Teenage Boys vs. Steph Bowe

(Okay, so I'm writing this post partly in response to this article, and this one - the first of which you may have to read in order to make sense of my post.)

Everyone has this crazy need to put everybody else into little boxes, and make assumptions about the people they are based on the box they are put in. Boys. Girls. Children. Adults. Etc.

And I hate this.

People also feel the desire to divide people into types, too. Which I don't get at all. Sure, there are people who share traits with other people. Sure, people conform to different groups. But the world's too complicated for people to be so neatly pigeon-holed. And, frankly, speaking as someone who has been pigeon-holed in pigeon-holes her entire life, it does not feel good. Do you ever like people assuming things about you? Why do you do it to other people, then?

Everyone likes to say things decisively like: Fictional teenage boys will forever be better than real teenage boys because real teenage boys suck. And thus Edward Cullen is the model to which all real people should be compared.

I like real life. It drives me insane and at the same time it's wonderful and I want to capture it in the things I write though I fear I'll never even get close. Awkward conversations remind me of the fact that I'm not the only person who is awkward in this world. People get all self-conscious when they start rambling because they think you're getting bored with them, but I never do. I find everyone absolutely fascinating, because everyone is so unique.

Everyone wants different things in their friends and whoever they go out with. It is definitely not a one-size-fits-all sort of thing because all people are individuals. Everyone's idea of perfect is something entirely different, even if on the surface they seem pretty similar (when young people tell you about their 'type', traits like people who are nice and thoughtful tend to come up a lot, but everyone's idea of nice and thoughtful are different).

If Edward Cullen did exist in reality, sure, maybe some girls would want to go out with him. But the Edward Cullen phenomenon isn't even really about Edward Cullen, I don't think. It's about being immersed in that story, getting so caught up in it that you forget about almost everything else. I remember being fourteen and reading New Moon shortly after it came out and sitting behind the door in the bathroom, hiding. I couldn't stop reading. And sure, afterwards I thought about how it lacked literary merit and blah blah blah. But I enjoyed it when I was reading it. I don't think what people really like is Edward Cullen himself, rather they like the idea of being so intensely wanted by someone. Everyone wants to be needed by someone else. This is not a trait teenage girls exclusively have. This is a trait people have.

People can be kind and wonderful and thoughtful and sensitive and intelligent and passionate and hopeful and brave and every other trait in existence.

I kind of wish everyone could get over the whole teenage girls are like this, the elderly are like this, you must be like this.

Honestly, why can't people be individuals, hey? Why can't you treat everyone you meet with an equal amount of respect?

So I can't say teenage boys are like this because teenage boys are human beings and as you know because you are a human being yourself (I assume) that everyone is an individual (and you're going to disagree with me and I'm going to say, no, I'm right, and that's one thing that we all have in common. We all think we're right and everyone else is wrong. Not just teenagers).

Just a bit of advice for everyone who lives their lives in their head like I do: Stop for a bit, and get off the internet. Go out. Meet real people. You'll find they're not half bad. Stop thinking so much about every tiny thing and live your life. It's the only one you've got right now. You can do an essay breaking down all the way Edward Cullen is greater than Steph Bowe (none! I am far superior! I am far sparklier in sunlight!) in your next life (if you believe in that).

I apologise if anything is illogical or offensive (inevitably, regardless of what I say or how tactfully I approach things, I will offend someone. I'm sorry). I know that no matter what I say on the internet, someone will accuse me of not being professional enough or being too professional. Irrespective of what I do, people are going to perceive me the way they want to.

I would very much appreciate your opinion on Edward Cullen vs. Real Teenage Boys Who, You Know, Have A Pulse.

See me at Melbourne Writers Festival!

So if you're a Melburnian (or an Australian writer, really) you would definitely know that Melbourne Writers Festival tickets went on sale yesterday! Hallelujah! Anyway, I thought you might be interested in seeing me there! Send me good vibes so I don't stuff up and start babbling about how much I love my mum (which I do, but people get kind of tired of hearing about). Here's when and where I'll be appearing:

August 30
Virgin Voices: Girl Saves Boy
Steph Bowe
Festival Club View map »
10am - 10.45am
Tickets $6
Buy tickets »
First-time novelists take the stage every morning this week, revealing the books that have catapulted them to literary success!

Sixteen year-old Steph Bowe kicks off, with her debut sensation Girl Saves Boy, a tale of love, loss and garden gnomes.

September 1
Colonising the Internet
Shirley Marr, Steph Bowe
Festival Club View map »
11.15am - 12pm
Tickets $6
Buy tickets »
Before Shirley Marr or Steph Bowe’s books had even been released, they’d both built massive communities on the Internet, sharing their work and ideas with people all over the world.

They talk today about the new space for creativity that the Internet affords us, and share their tips for finding-and sharing-the best new writing on the internet.

--

I am especially looking forward to the panel with Shirley Marr! (She's the author of Fury.) And guess what else? My book will have been released by then! And actual real people (like yourself or someone like you) will be reading it!

That scares me out of my mind. Not quite as much as sharks scare me out of my mind, but close.

The Road To Publication

Everybody talks about the road to publication as if getting published is the destination. You slave away at your book-baby for however long, walking down this long and dusty road, sometimes trudging through mud, sometimes wanting to turn back when a rejection letter falls down from heaven (of course this is where the holy agents live) and smacks you in the face. Sometimes there are cars on the road to publication and sometimes they are driven by people who put down your writing and they hit you with the car and you go off the road and you get lost for a bit. But you get back to the road because the road has this magnetism, this pull. Writing, your desire to get published, it's not going to let you go. You don't want to still be walking down this road, sometimes, but you still do. No pain, no gain.

Sometimes it seems as if the road will never end. Sometimes it seems as if that Oasis of Published Authordom is only a mirage. You never seem to be getting closer to your destination.

I am going to let you in on a big secret: This is life. There are no destinations. The journey is the whole point.

When you get published, it isn't like you've reached the end of the road. You're still on the road. It's just that the obstacles change. The people driving the cars (okay, that analogy is rubbish, but bear with me) say different stuff to you that knocks you off the road.

When you get published, you are still a human being. Published writers are not a higher life form. They're one 'yes' away from you (assuming you are unpublished. If you are published, how's the road of post-publication treating you?).

You get knocked down, you get up again, it keeps going and going and going. This road is neverending.

I'm trying to get myself to remember this. I'm trying to say to myself, Hey! Steph Bowe! There is no destination! It's all about the journey! And maybe you're trying to say that to yourself too. I think it's the truth. I think being a writer (same as being a teenager, a human being) is always going to be a difficult thing. Once you get a book deal, you don't have it made. But it's really not about 'having it made'. It's about enjoying being a writer, unpublished and published. It's about taking rejection letters and people's criticism and all the pressure (the pressure and expectation and resentment that make you feel as if your head will explode) and knowing that it's character building.

There's this quote in Cool Runnings, where Irv tells Derice: "A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if you're not enough without one, you'll never be enough with one."

Replace 'gold medal' with 'literary agent/book deal/bestseller/lots and lots of royalties.'

Don't let whether or not you have a book published dictate how you feel about yourself as a writer or as a person. Don't compare yourself to other writers. If you must, remember: There's no destination (well, I haven't seen it, and if we employ the same rules here as I do when my sister yells 'punch buggy!' when we're in the car going somewhere, then if I don't see it then it doesn't exist). Regardless of whether you are published or unpublished, you're still struggling along. It's about enjoying the journey, you guys.

NSW Writers Centre Kids & YA Literature Festival

On Saturday I was in Sydney for the 5th NSW Writers Centre Kids & YA Literature Festival. I went to the same festival last year and it was abolutely brilliant (it's a smaller festival, but it was still very inspiring and informative, and all the panels were fabulous) and this year it was the same. I got to meet many lovely authors and took some photos! So if you missed out you can imagine you were there.

The panels I didn't photograph were How Publishers and Authors Create Stories for the World with Lisa Berryman (HarperCollins publisher), Michelle Cooper (author of A Brief History of Montmoray), Moya Simons (author of lots of books, including Let Me Whisper You My Story), Zoe Walton (Random House publisher) and chaired by Angie Schiavone. Also, Taking Stories Into New Places: Plays Across Australia, chaired by David Ryding, with Wendy Blaxland and Tim McGarry.

It really was a fantastic festival, and if you're in Sydney next year around this time you should go along - I think the fact that it is a smaller festival allows for it to be a bit more informal and intimate but not at all intimidating. After I left I just felt so inspired and felt really great about the industry and writers (published and unpublished) and being a writer and knowing that even though writing is such a solitary thing, there's still this huge sense of community. And I apologise for the run-on sentence but really, I can't express it another way.

Anyway, pictures!

Gabrielle Lord and Susanne Gervay following Gabrielle's brilliant keynote address (she spoke about her YA series Conspiracy 365 - 12 books released one a month for the entirety of 2010, following one story. At first she was only given a month by her publisher to write each 35,000 word book! (I might be wrong, but I think it ended up she had four months per book? I was amazed.)

Sue Whiting speaking about Sue Walker's Arnie Avery.

Sue Walker and Susanne Gervay launching Arnie Avery.

Throwing paper planes (apparently there's a significant scene in Arnie Avery where he throws a paper plane, so everybody got one to throw. I'm really curious to read the book now!)

Deborah Abela at the panel Fantasy Books: The World Loves Them, talking about her novels (including the soon-to-be-released Grimsdon).

Kate Forsyth, Belinda Murrell, Judith Ridge (who I finally met after knowing on Twitter for ages) who chaired the panel and Deb Abela. Deb Abela kept insisting she didn't write fantasy, not really, and Kate Forsyth told everyone the real definition of fantasy and that Deb Abela certainly did write it.

Kate Forsyth and Belinda Murrell.

The panel How the NSWWC (New South Wales Writers Centre) and Editors Get Books Published: from left to right Brian Cook (literary agent), Susanne Gervay (author of lots of great books, including the upcoming Always Jack), Wendy Fitzgerald (author of Bollywood Dreaming), Oliver Phommavanh (author of Thai-Riffic!), and Susan Hayes (Australia Council Director of Literature) chairing the panel.


Pitch an Idea that Captures a Publisher (three minute pitches of story ideas with feedback from an expert panel): Brian Cook, William Kostakis (chair), Sue Whiting and Zoe Walton. And in the second pic standing on the left is Jodie (I think I remember her surname, but I'm worried I might be wrong, so I'll just leave it at Jodie) who was the winner! She read a picture book text, a Halloween version of The Twelve Days of Christmas, which was fabulous, and got lots of publisher interest!

What I really loved about the pitch session at the end of the day was how diverse all the pitches were - I know that a lot of people say there's no original thought anymore and everything has been said and done, but each of the pitches were so unique, so different and it reminded me of how creative and how individual writers are. I know it might seem all sparkly vampires or werewolves or whatever it is at the moment right now, but it's not because writers aren't writing unique novels. At least I don't think so.

Massive thanks to Susanne Gervay for inviting me, introducing me to everyone and being generally wonderful, and everyone else who I spoke to (and who told me they were looking forward to my book! You're awesome) for being fabulous.

The Uninvited by Tim Wynne-Jones

Mimi Shapiro had a disturbing freshman year at NYU, thanks to a foolish affair with a professor who still haunts her caller ID. So when her artist father, Marc, offers the use of his remote Canadian cottage, she’s glad to hop in her Mini Cooper and drive up north. The house is fairy-tale quaint, and the key is hidden right where her dad said it would be, so she’s shocked to fi nd someone already living there — Jay, a young musician, who is equally startled to meet Mimi and immediately accuses her of leaving strange and threatening tokens inside: a dead bird, a snakeskin, a cricket sound track embedded in his latest composition. But Mimi has just arrived, so who is responsible? And more alarmingly, what does the intruder want?

The Uninvited was interesting in that it was only really what it was described as on the back cover of the book – a thriller – for a few chapters. After that it metamorphosed into something deeper, more of a family drama (with some out-there plotline like you’d see in a thriller), though still with suspenseful elements. It was surprising, and I think some readers might feel a bit ripped off by the fact that the story delivers something so different than what is promised. I quite liked the fact that what seemed as if it was going to be same-old same-old thriller (creepy guy leaves strange artefacts in locked house, stalks pretty girl, suspense!) became something a whole lot different.

I’m not sure whether this novel is classified as YA or not, and to me it didn’t really seem like one. Mimi is a university student, and nineteen years old, and other central characters are only slightly older. There isn’t any content that would make it unsuitable for a YA audience (nothing you wouldn’t find in your average YA, anyway – slight swearing and themes), and it definitely read like a book that could be enjoyed by any reader.

I’m not even sure who to recommend this to, because I haven’t read anything a lot like it (you’ll notice I say this a lot. This is because I don’t read widely enough! I’m always reading in the genre I write). There was a whiff of Jodi Picoult about it – her books, I find, I can never say I exactly enjoy, though I think most of them are fantastic. Hopefully you understand. This book was strange and unexpected, more about family than any creepy intruder, and if you like your books a little bit weird and a little bit different you might want to check it out.

The Uninvited on Amazon / Goodreads